A Lenten Reflection | Thoughts

"Remember, man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return."

Well, dear readers, Lent is here again! I've mentioned previously that I like Advent more than Lent. That's because I like Christmas more than Easter (more on that in a bit) but also because (sinner that I am) seven weeks is a long time, and I generally feel like I get much less out of Lent than Advent. I wanted to share some thoughts I had on Ash Wednesday and in the intervening days.

I've always thought it's a little funny how the Mass readings of Ash Wednesday (at least in the Old Missal) seem to contradict the practice of wearing ashes on Ash Wednesday. Jesus literally says in today's Gospel:

When you fast, be not as the hypocrites, sad. For they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Amen I say to you, they have received their reward. But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thy head and wash thy face, that thou appear not to men to fast, but to thy Father who is in secret: and thy Father who seeth in secret will repay thee. (Matt. 6:16-18)

And yet we all go to Mass today (even many, many Catholics who don't regularly go to Mass) and get ashes put on our faces! This seems incongruous to me, but I love getting the ashes as much as anyone else. I don’t really mind, I just find it interesting.

I'm listening to the Rosary in a Year podcast with Fr. Mark-Mary Ames. Today, in a nice coincidence for Ash Wednesday, Fr. Mark-Mary talked about how Catholics are pretty good at sacrificing in Lent but we don’t celebrate Easter that much. Which is crazy! Easter is the reason for everything. Not just for Lent, which is most obviously oriented towards Easter (just as Advent is to Christmas), but for the whole life of the Christian. As St. Paul says, without the Resurrection, “our faith is in vain.” Easter embues the entire Christian life with hope and promise. We Catholics should be going crazy in our Easter celebrations. Why do we go so hard at Christmas and then do almost nothing for Easter? My family didn’t really have many strong Easter traditions growing up. We did always get a few presents from our parents, which was great. I can’t wait to learn about Easter traditions throughout the ages of the Church, and start introducing them in my own family.

I’m also finishing the Bible in a Year Podcast with Fr. Mike Schmitz again, for the second time. I started it on January 1, 2024, and really wanted to stay on track throughout the year. I got way behind after my son was born and mostly stopped. I decided to power through and finish it as quickly as possible, and I’m near the very end now. So again, in another nice coincidence, the title of the first episode I listened to on Ash Wednesday is Day 334: The Meaning of Fasting. Kind of fun that I’d listen to this episode on one of the two days out of the year that we’re supposed to fast, eh?

But wait, there’s more. The next episode I listened to on Ash Wednesday is Day 335: Run the Race, which contains some of the finest prose ever written, and some of my personal favorite Scriptures:

For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a slave to all, that I might win the more. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews; to those under the law I became as one under the law… that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law… that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Well, I do not run aimlessly, I do not box as one beating the air; but I pommel my body and subdue it, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. (1 Cor. 9:19-27)

I’ve almost never seen discernible signs of providence in my life. Between the Rosary episode and the two Bible episodes, here was a little sign for me for Ash Wednesday. These were exactly the words I needed to hear. Run the race! Don’t be lame and weak! Be a man! As mentioned, I often don’t feel like I enter into the spirit of Lent. I feel like I’m just going through the motions. A big part of that is often that it sneaks up on me and I don’t feel prepared and I haven’t chosen penances very carefully (even though the Church very graciously gives me Septuagesima, Sexagesima, and Quinquagesima Sundays!). Such a thing happened this year. But so what? Encouraged by these words of St. Paul, I chose some penances, and now I feel invigorated and encouraged for this Lent.

Finally, after listening to these and some other podcasts I usually listen to every day, I was almost done with my work day but I wanted to listen to music instead of people talking. I searched “Catholic Polyphony” on Spotify and found a playlist. One of the first things that came up on shuffle was the first movement of Stabat Mater by Pergolesi, “Stabat Mater Dolorosa: Grave.”

I almost cried listening to this piece of music. I love the harsh dissonances. The rhythmic, repetitive nature of the accompaniment reminds me of tears falling off of Mary's face. The way the two vocalists’ voices weave in and out reminds me of the heavy breathing you do when you cry, and the vibrato is obviously reminiscent of the sound of crying. Absolutely beautiful, haunting, heartbreaking.

---

Thank you for reading this little reflection! I didn’t originally think this could be an entire post so I was going to bundle it with some thoughts I have on this year’s Oscar results. But now that gives me an excuse to write a full post about the Oscars again! Oh happy day! Stay tuned for that. And since it’s Lent, I’m going to try to do more appropriate movie reviews for the season - Biblical movies, saints’ movies, stuff like that. Comment below with your favorite “holy” movie or with one of your Lenten penances this year.

Have a blessed and prayerful Lent, everyone!